


FarmersOnly.com

by Smileyisawesomeable



Series: Online Larry [1]
Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction
Genre: Bareback riding, FamersOnly.com, Gay Cowboys, M/M, harry has a baby girl, liam is not mentioned in the first bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 03:23:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10585410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smileyisawesomeable/pseuds/Smileyisawesomeable
Summary: Basically a little story where Harry had a baby girl who likes to steal his phone, and Louis is a lonely country music star on break for a while





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like it!

Louis was very tired of fake farmers trying to get into his pants. Just because he was a country music millionaire didn't mean he was gonna marry any two-bit hack who thought riding bareback was a sex position. YeeHawmony, Cowboy Mingle, and Wranglr were terrible sites, meant for wannabe riders and people who didn't know how to stick a seed in the ground, let alone grow it. Plus, nobody believed he was The Louis Tomlinson™ and when they did, they only dated him for money. Gay cowboys were hard to come by, and Louis gave up on his dreams of marriage and love, raising his own children along with cows, chickens, and horses.

Niall was sick of him whining about his need for a down-home boy, so he went searching all over the internet for a way to find an authentic farmer dating site. Louis was losing hope, and his song writing went as dry as his love life. Zayn, his manager, was worried about Louis's well being, so he joined Niall on late-night searches and calls to obscure dating services. When asked who they wanted to sign up, the reply of the famous star's name made workers hang up. How was Louis supposed to find love as a cowboy in this high-tech world?

Finally, 8 months after Louis's last album released, his phone rang. At 2:27 in the morning, three hours before he had to be awake, he found his solution. Niall screamed into his ear, despite being twenty yards away in the guest ranch, wanting him to get on his laptop and search up Farmers Only. He told Niall to fuck off, and go to bed. But because he was so desperate, and somewhat sleep deprived, he picked up his laptop and clicked on Google. Seventeen minutes later, he fell asleep on the keyboard, spelling his name Lou Tinson and submitting his form.

Right at 5:30 the rooster crowed, awakening Louis with a start. His laptop slipped out of his arms in his sleep, laying closed on the floor, completely forgotten along with the night's events. A morning of chores, including but not limited to cleaning the pig pen, gathering eggs, brushing horses (2), and checking the cows and fences, made his back ache and had his heart screaming in loneliness.

After lunch, Louis had to do house chores, and found his laptop on the floor for a reason he didn't know. Out of curiosity, he opened the lid and stared at the screen in disbelief. There was his blurry picture, and his email, but the wrong name posted on a profile he didn't remember making. He had no idea how to handle the idea that a "fan" had broken into his house, took pictures of him, and posted it without him even waking up.

Louis finally snapped to attention, called Zayn and Niall, demanding that they come over immediately to help him, no explanation given, just a plea for help. When they came, Louis begged them to check the cameras he installed after fans found out his address. Niall was confused, but this wasn't exactly unlike his best friend. Zayn was sketched out, running to the living room, flipping the TV on and reviewing last night's video log. Nobody in, nobody out. Nothing.

"Lou, what are you so worried about? Your house was dead last night," said the thick, Bradford accent. Louis turned around, opened his laptop, and showed them his crazy screen most likely filled with requests to get muddy. Once Niall saw, he died laughing. He showed Louis and Zayn his phone record, and explained the situation to the perplexed boys.

Zayn finally understood and began to laugh with Niall, reading the profile of "Lou Tinson" and laughing at the endearing, yet slightly misspelled, biography. Louis thought they were evil, laughing at him in his sleep deprived haze, but he had to follow along when he realized how badly he'd overreacted.

After the boys left, back to their daily lives, Louis continued to clean the house, ignoring his constantly pinging laptop. It seemed every cowboy wanted a taste of the beautiful, yet blurry pictured boy. Finally, his chores were done and his curiosity, for the second time that day, got the very best of him.

With a sigh, he lay on his couch, armed with popcorn and a can of coke, ready to laugh at the ridiculous things people had offered him. He turned Netflix on to the cutest Christmas carol he could find, ready for the fast-approaching season. In the time it took for him to get the movie on, his laptop chimed eight times. He stuffed his mouth full of popcorn, and pulled up the minimized tab.

There were 63 messages. All from the same person, a Hal Stiles. His photo was just as low-quality as Louis's, biography so similar he could only laugh. Hal loved fishing, biking, riding horses, and he mentioned that he had his own little farm close to Holmes Chapel. Hal seemed perfect for Louis, but 63 messages in the time it took Louis to clean his property? He seemed desperate. REALLY desperate. During this inner monologue, his screen showed two new messages.

Louis though it may be best to actually read the messages before making a decision, because his momma raised him right, to never judge a book by its cover. The messages were poorly written, looked like his drunk texts:

U r cute nd i like u

Ur hair is prety

Can u ride horses??

I need a new daddy

Jeez, this guy didn't seem to beat around the bush. Hal seemed like a funny guy, though. There was determination in his many texts, and a Louis could only imagine how easy it would be to start a conversation. Before he could stop himself, Louis was sending a message:

Are you always this forward or was there a big hoedown last night?

A message came almost instantly, giving a phone number. Louis was perplexed but he wanted to see where this was going. He texted the number his "name" and said hi with a smile. Then he waited.

Louis never got the message he was hoping for, but instead, two movies and half a beer later, his phone rang with an Hal's number. Immediately, Louis picked up. A young voice screamed in his ear, a dog barked, and a deep voice screamed about the tickle monster. What had he gotten into?

Finally, Harry realized that his phone was on, and he was being listened to, because he picked up the phone, with a rush of apologies. It had only been 4 minutes, and the person on the other side was more amused than angered. "You're fine, love! But your name is Hal right?" The deep voice laughed. What an odd day. First his daughter, taking his phone to text weird people, then this. Weird caller with no clue of his actual name.

"No, my name is Harry. But, not to be rude, who are you?" Louis was lost. "I'm Louis. I texted you earlier, after you gave me your number, remember?" "Umm, no. I don't give out my cell number normally. My daughter plays on it. I think you have the wrong number?" Hal, or Harry, replied with a confused voice. "Wait," he added, "Are you on Farmers Only?" Then the voice sighed.

"Yes, I signed up for it last night. Why?" Lou replied, ready to hang up on this drunken mess. He sat in silence for a few minutes, waiting for a reply. "My daughter. Well, my daughter is special. She loves to sign me up for things. She's only six, but she thinks she can set me up. I caught her messaging someone today and I think it was you." Harry sounded close to tears, sighing between every few words. "When this sunk in, Louis found himself laughing, a sound that made Harry's heart leap. It sounded warm and comforting.

"That's fine, mate. I was a little confused at the forwardness of you "needing a new daddy" anyways," Louis finally joked, wiping tears away from laughing too hard. There was an audible gasp on the other side. "Trust me, she's 6. There is no way she would mean it that way!" Luna was as special as the character she was named after, always up to something Harry had to solve eventually, but he wouldn't have it any other way.

"Look, Louis. I really didn't mean to get your hopes up because I'm not ready for anything serious, but you seem like a nice guy. How about I make this up to you with drinks? Friday night?" Harry said, ready to make this unfortunate event to the poor bloke on the other side of the line. "Y'know what, Harry? That sounds mighty fine."

**Author's Note:**

> Make sure to leave kudos and comments!


End file.
